Music Monday

I recently became a MyHogwarts Beta tester.
That page introduced me to Wizard Rock for the first time (they have a radio). To be honest, a lot of it is just cheesy, pathetic shit but I discovered this one song that I LOVE LOVE LOVE for its music. And for Wizard Rock, the lyrics aren't tooooo bad either.


The Moaning Myrtles - And then I died
(click to listen!)

One rainy day at Hogwarts school
I got new glasses and I thought they were cool
Olive Hornby passed by
I said, “Don’t I look fly?”
She said, “No ugly Myrtle, you look more like a fool.”

I went to the bathroom on the second floor
What was Olive thinking, now this is war
So I started to bawl
And ran into a stall
And I heard a boy talking just outside of the door

Get out of my bathroom, you’re really creepy
You’re not a girl and you don’t belong here
I don’t understand you, stop speaking in tongues
Saw a pair of yellow eyes and then I died.

I don’t know what happened during that attack
My body seized up, everything went black
Then I floated away
And you know what they say
My life still sucked so then I came back

That evil witch wouldn’t get away
I haunted Olive Hornby every night and day
Till the Ministry called
Oh and they were appalled
I was sent back to Hogwarts where I am today.

Get out of my bathroom, you’re really creepy
You’re not a girl and you don’t belong here
I don’t understand you, stop speaking in tongues
Saw a pair of yellow eyes and then I died.

Been the bathroom ghost since the night I fell
It’s not so bad if you ignore the smell
I was sorry to go
But there’s one thing I know
Olive Hornby is burning in hell

Get out of my bathroom, you’re really creepy
You’re not a girl and you don’t belong here
I don’t understand you, stop speaking in tongues
Saw a pair of yellow eyes

And now I’m Moaning Myrtle and I live in a toilet
Olive Hornby got what was coming to her
As you know, nothing’s been the same ever since
The day I…

Spacebrain 2.0

It's 7-fucking-30 on a Saturday morning and I've been up for almost an hour. Why? Because I forgot to turn off my alarm clock last night, of course! During the week, when I have to get up and go to work, I usually feel like hitting the snooze button about a million times. Today I'm awake! I really don't like life's sense of humor.

I broke my Twitter break last night but I acted pretty civilized and didn't overshare too much. And two of the three people I texted/called totally ignored me. And I texted early. There's no way both of them were asleep already before nine o'clock.
I take stuff like that very personally. My therapist brought up my not asking people to spend time with me for the upteenth time just this Thursday. (And I hate answering the same questions over and over again. I might just have to mention that.) And this is exactly why I don't do that much. Because they don't want to spend time with me. Because it's me. And who can blame them? I wouldn't hang out with me if I had a choice.

Ons and Offs

I've been wanting to write again for a couple of weeks now.

I've mostly been inspired by Lalagirl who blogs several times a week and sometimes even several times a day. (Although I don't know if she's still doing that; I'm still busy catching up, currently reading March 2008.) She is someone I really look up to when it comes to blogging.
And isn't it weird how I can't stand children IRL but love reading Mommy blogs? I guess vicariousness is just about enough for me.

Well, I'm currently taking a hiatus from Twitter. For the last year, twitter has been a huge part of my life and I've made some (more or less) great friends there. But since they were annoying the shit out of me lately I felt it was better for all of us if I just stepped back a little. (After one week off I still think in Tweet-form. I guess it's bad.)

I've been sitting outside in the sunshine on the balcony for the first time this year today. And I was at peace. It's a feeling I don't really know. And right now (8.24 pm, dark and getting kinda cool outside) I'm still full of endorphines and I wish one of my (very few) friends would just reply to my texts and go dancing with me.

Everything I wrote seems so shallow. I've been going over this post in my head for about a week and now that I sit down to type it, I can't remember all the things I wanted to say. I really should just keep a list.


I hope to be back soon.
Love.
Lisbeth.

Soon...

I'm constantly wanting to update this blog. Mostly because I've read a lot of others' lately. But I really need to wrap my mind around what I want to write. This isn't Twitter after all.

I'm also working on translating my earlier entries. For some reason I think English will be easier for others.


(The blog I'm reading at the moment - I'm currently at August 2007 - has given me a lot of inspiration.I hope I can use some of it for this.)

Postcrossing #4-6

I haven't been active on Postcrossing much (or this blog, come to speak of it) and it took me forever and a day to get these registered.

No. 4 came from Finland and it traveled 1,710 km (1,063 miles) .

No. 5 is from the USA, having travelled 8,439 km (5,244 miles).
(Sorry, I don't own a scanner and couldn't find a better picture online)

No. 6 is from Indonesia, sent to me from 11,235 km (6,981 miles) away.

Postcrossing #3

Today an exceptionally unattractive card was waiting for me. But it is written in a very funny German!
This too is from the Netherlands, traveled 221 km (137 miles) and took 4 days to get to me.

Postcrossing #2

Today there was another beautiful postcard in my mailbox. It came from Finland and took 12 days to travel 1.713 km (1.064 miles).

Questions: Borderline Personality Test

• Does criticism from other people, even in small measure, make you feel horrible inside?
  ✔
• While being successful in your work life, do you feel as though a happy, successful relationship has been the one thing that's alluded you?
  ✔
• Would you say your emotional life has been characterized by anguish?
  ✔
• Have you found it hard to have close friends for very long?
  ✔
• Do you feel like you have less friends than those around you?
  ✔
• Do you tend to, at first, over idealize people and later often feel let down by them?
  ✔
• Have you ever been accused of behaving in ways that are all or nothing with nothing in between?
  ✔
• Have you taken on the values, habits and preferences of people, institutions, religions or philosophies, only to regret this decision later?
  ✔
• Have you experienced intense episodes of sadness, irritability, and anxiety or panic attacks?
  ✔
• Have you often felt raw? exhausted? in despair?
  ✔
• Do you have trouble sleeping?
  ✘
• Have you experienced chronic feelings of emptiness? Have you experienced a physical manifestation of this in your stomach or chest?
  ✔
• Do you have trouble being alone?
  Hmmmmm....
• Have you experienced intense relationships?
  ✔
• Do you feel like other people's emotional needs are too great?
  ✔
• Have you felt depleted from giving it your all to relationships?
  ✘
• Have you felt like since you've given it all to relationships and they haven't worked, that your only choice for sanity and balance is to not be in a relationship?
  ✘
• Do you often feel lonely even when you are in a relationship?
  ✔
• Do you consciously or unconsciously fear being abandoned?
  ✔
• Do you seem to require more time with your partner than those you observe around you?
  ✘
• Does your partner accuse you of having a double standard about the relationship?
  ✘
• Have you said you feel "unsafe" in your relationship?
  ✘
• Do you feel like your partner isn't telling you everything?
  ✘
• Have you ever experienced an overpowering feeling that your partner was keeping things from you? Has your partner expressed feeling falsely accused of doing or saying things?
  ✔
• Do social engagements and vacations often end up in turmoil?
  ✔
• Do you feel a strong need for control?
  ✔
• Are you often afraid that the world is going to cave in on you... that your life is going to collapse if you aren't in control of everything?
  ✔
• Have you demonstrated outbursts in your most intimate relationships that seemed very appropriate at the time but you regretted later?
  ✔
• Have you suffered from intense bouts of anger that last for hours, maybe even a few days?
  ✔
• Are your expressions of anger sometimes followed by shame and guilt?
  ✔
• Do you ever feel shameful?
  ✔
• After a relationship has ended, have you felt like you're experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome?
  ✔
• Do you feel like any contact with that person causes you too much stress?
  ✔
• Have you ever cut someone off and refused to speak to them?
  ✔
• Have you continued to refuse contact no matter how hard they try to reach you?
  ✘
• Do you use alcohol or drugs to soothe your emotional pain?
  ✔
• Do you have, or has anyone suggested you have, an eating disorder?
  ✔
• Have you been known to spend too much, eat too much, be sexually promiscuous, or drive too fast?
  ✘
• Have others commented or complained you work too much?
  ✘
• Has anyone ever accused you of being paranoid?
  ✔
• Have you ever cut yourself?
  ✔
• Have you ever experienced so much emotional pain that you felt like you wanted to die?
  ✔
• Have you ever attempted suicide?
  ✘

Source

Postcrossing #1

My first Postcrossing card arrived! From the Netherlands, 183 km (114 miles), 3 days travel time.

Christmas Shopping Hell

I know exactly why I hardly ever go into town.
Now I also made the mistake of deciding to do just that on a Saturday during the Christmas Market.


Bonn's city center was crammed full. People everywhere. Strollers everywhere. Everywhere slowly walking people and those standing in the way. And since I am someone who tends to walk pretty fast, these happen to be my special personal nightmare.


The fun started when I went to the bank. I had three money transfers to do (among other things, for this), so I took a bit longer at the machine than I usually would have done. The guy waiting for me to get done seemed to be in a bit more of a hurry than I was but I was still quite able to block out his grunting and mumbling.


On the way to the Lush shop the jostling started. And inside it was even worse. The store already is so tiny that it would be difficult to navigate through, even if there weren't shop assistants and other customers standing around all over the place. I didn't even get to the shelf with the bubble-stuff because that was besieged. But my mother will now be getting the following for Christmas: Big Blue, Avobath, Rose Queen Ballistic and Springwash Duschgel. And my backpack smells really nice. When I had finally squeezed through to the check-out and the lady there didn't take my basket but greeted me with 'Would you like a bag?', I must have looked so confused that she started speaking English to me. Whatever. I played along.


In the tea shop I then had difficulties to find something that I thought was worth being given as a gift. However, I did then fall into a buying frenzy. Thankfully, it wasn't so full in there and nobody wanted to advise me. The cousin-fraction of the familiy will now be getting Rooitea Ingwer, Bambus Pomelo and Spätsommerliebe. I couldn't resist the Bambus Pomelo for myself either (it does smell great though!) and I now also have ginger tea!!!
Of course I had to get lemons yet for that and now I'm going to the the Mr. Ming treatment. And if I then have a killer imune system that can't even be bothered by flu viruses that mutated out of anger, I'm going to have to write to Jacksonville!


I also managed to gather a new calendar for myself and a Maus-postcard.

The postcard is pretty Chritmas-y with an advent calendar in the background but then I'll just explain what that's all about to the little Russian boy.


Of course, on the way home the bus just left when I got to the station so I had to take a different one that only took me to the other side of the Rhine and I walked home for the last kilometer. The bus was - what else - cramped full will staring old farts, kids and their rude mothers. While getting out I and a nice and likeable young man (they do seem to exist) helped a lady in a wheelchair out of the bus. That gave me that nice feeling inside of me again. Until I realized she hadn't said thank you.

The next time I leave the house will definitely not be before Monday.

In this sense,  Cheers und and happy bumming around!