Postcrossing #9

From Belarus, 1.432 km (890 miles) and 5 days.

Trigger me again and I might just have to kill you.

Lately I've been feeling pretty good. Really good actually. I mean, my apartment is still a sty but I've been 99% symptom free.
Then on Thursday night a got a message from my ex. Some stupid shit about how she keeps getting letters about the bank account we used to have together and that maybe I should give them my new address (but of course she started out with 'how are you?').
And this just triggered me so fucking bad. I went to bed, got back up an hour later crying and replied really pissily that she should change the address herself if the letters bother her so much and that she hasn't contacted me once since she got her laptop in October. (I gave her a laptop when she started University to compensate for keeping all the electronics when she moved out.) Also that if she's really interested in how I am maybe she could get in contact on her own once in a while.
Then I ordered an extremely expensive bottle of vodka and stayed home from work the next day.

It's gotten me just so fucking pissed. Friday and Saturday I spent mostly drunk which then of course spoiled the Cologne pride parade for me on Sunday since I felt pretty much like shit.
And now I'm afraid I might just get another depressive episode. This morning I laid in bed for hours crying my eyes out and I don't seem able to repress other unpleasant thoughts anymore either.
I just still feel so betrayed by her. Things weren't going great back then but I'm also starting to realize that it wasn't just my fault that she left. Yes, I was probably a handfull or two but I was fucking sick and still needed her help, even though they did release me from the loony bin. And she left. After staying with a friend who had just been dumped herself for the last few days (and nights). And on the very morning she came home to tell me she wasn't coming home she had texted me 'I love you' yet. And then she forgot about me pretty quickly. But why not? She had all her friends, her soccer, her LIFE, neither of which I had.

Just when I thought I might just get my shit together and maybe be a bit more active and happy all this crap comes flooding back. And the thing I'm dreading most is to tell my therapist about it on Thursday.

Postcrossing #8

Finally another postcard!
It came from Taiwan, traveled 9,587 km (5,957 miles) and took 9 days to get to me.

Postcrossing #7

I guess I abandoned my picture challenge. Sorry about that.

After having sent 7 postcards in the last couple of weeks, there was finally one waiting for me in my mailbox today.
It came from Magdeburg (middle eastern Germany), traveled 353 km (219 miles) and took 2 days to get to me.

Postcards for strangers

Last week (actually just before I found out I was broke) I decided to write some more postcrossing cards:

These are numbers 5-9.
To be honest, the first four I sent were all the card in the middle on the right. It's a very old card of the cafe my grandparents used to run.

And see the one of the beautiful cat eye? I wrote it all in Dutch!

I'm all happy and proud at the moment. As if I had accomplished something. But then I guess making people happy is something. And I'm always happy when I get a postcrossing card.

30 Day Personal Picture Challenge - Day 14

Day 14 - A picture of your favorite teacher(s)

Source


I'm sorry, I couldn't find a bigger picture. This is Frau Tenten, my grade school teacher (1990-1994). She was a wonderful very gentle teacher who was (almost) always nice to everyone. Which was just what an extremely shy, socially inept Lisbeth needed.
When I was in her class she had dark hair but I haven't seen her for 18 years. In this picture she looks very much like her mother who ran a tiny little childrens' book store.

30 Day Personal Picture Challenge - Day 13

Day 13 - A picture of your friends

30 Day Personal Picture Challenge - Days 8 - 12

 I guess I'm a bit behind...


Day 08 - A picture of yourself

 Day 09 - A picture of what you had for lunch

Source






Day 10 - A picture of what you like to do

Day 11 - A picture of your favorite drink

Source








Day 12 - A picture of your favorite food

Beef & Horseradish (Preferably the way my Grandma used to make it).
Source

30 Day Personal Picture Challenge - Day 7

Day 07 - A picture that makes you cry

This picture doesn't make me cry per se but it makes me extremely sad.
It's my ex and I when we were still very happy.

30 Day Personal Picture Challenge - Skipping Day 6

Day 06 - A picture that inspires you


I'm sorry, I've been thinking hard about this one. Thruth is, it's very hard to inspire me.
As soon as anything does, I'll update this but right now there will be no picture.